Pros and Cons of Marrying your BFF

Pros and Cons of Marrying your BFF

I’m not sure how many of you know this, but I married my best friend. He’s been my best friend FOREVER now! I met him in 2007 when I visited their house with my uncle. And all I could see was him, and because of his immense brightness, everything else faded out of my view. I was smitten by him. And I was so disappointed and sad when he wasn’t smitten by me. Well, to be fair I was a bit of a tomboy and no boy ever has shown even a bit of interest in me. Most (like Pooh) would disagree with me, but I know better. Even though he wasn’t interested in me, he stayed by my side. During my happy times, he was there to laugh and share my happiness, during my depressed times, he lent me his shoulder to cry upon and sometimes shed his tears too for me.

They say a girl and a boy can never be friends. That’s not true. I fell in love way before I became friends with him. VJ has been my entire life since I met him. I would drop everything for him and just sit and talk to him. When he moved to pursue his Masters, it broke my heart to be so far away from him. I cried and cried and had no one to give me their shoulder. Of course, Pooh and my best friend Babes were there to assure me that I should tell him how I feel. But I didn’t think he would understand and I was terrified to lose his friendship. But VJ was true to his promise, he emailed me every day and we chat over Yahoo and Gtalk almost every day or whenever he could. He worked extremely hard to give his family a perfect and a comfortable life. He’s responsible for my MBA and I owe him every single moment of my life.

But we have our fair share of bad days, obviously. So here are the Pros and Cons of marrying your best friend:

    You have married your best friend and it is absolutely the best thing you could ask for. He (or she) can be really understanding. When I moved to a totally new continent and a new country, I told him I hated him and while I yelled at him for that (which I chose) he held me and let me cry and yell. He totally understood what I was going through. He knew how hard it was to leave family and friends behind. Every now and then I use the ‘I-left-my-family-and-friends-and-not-to-forget-my-career’ card. I use it like once a year, not really to get what I want, but to actually make my point and even then he just nods and says that he’s sorry.
    Well, it’s good that you married your best friend who can be very understanding, but you also are short of one best friend. You are one person short in your life to b**** about your life. Of course, I still talk to VJ how stupid other people are, but when I have a huge fight with him I don’t have anyone else who share the same frustration. People can think I am being too annoying and whining about everything and I have some who said that behind me which hurt me, so I stopped. VJ told me that he would still be my best friend and I could talk to him about him too. But still, I miss the late night talks with him, the chats.
    Marrying your best friend means that you absolutely have no secrets between each other. Everything is out in the open. There is absolutely nothing to hide and you can talk freely. He tells me everything and I tell him everything. It’s like we cannot even hide stuff from each other. When something exciting or sad happens, we tell it to each other in the next second. When we were planning to get pregnant I kept seeing all these ladies how they surprised their hubbies with videos of how they surprised them and I wanted to do it. But when I took the test, it was so early at about 7, I just yelled and started crying. So yeah, when you marry your best friend you cannot hide anything inside.
    And yeah, we have no secrets. I have to tell him everything. It’s like a compulsion. If I don’t tell him what has happened I go kind of crazy and he finds out because I act weird. Over the past few years, I have trained myself to not be so subtle that I have a secret. That is how I have been able to throw him a surprise birthday party, plan his birthday gifts without him having an idea, even hiding his presents right in front of him and he had no idea. I am proud of myself to be able to hide a few stuff from him. But still, when I know something I HAVE to tell him, it’s like a compulsion. It’s weird but I don’t mind it anymore since it’s like I’m talking to another me. Well, an another me that is the polar opposite of me.
    With VJ I am always myself. With no secrets between us, we are our absolute self. Sometimes if I have no work and have nothing to do I wear no pants (like Jennifer Lawrence). When I have panic attacks, he sits with me. He just hugs me and sits with me. He’s beside me whenever I need and I do not need to be scared. I do not need to shut him out when I have a panic attack and he embraces me. He gets me whatever I need to get over that phase. He just lies with me and doesn’t even talk, just hugs me and that calms me down. There hasn’t been once when I had to hide from him and I don’t think I could be myself with an another person.
    Though I am extremely glad that VJ has never left my side during my ugly phase, but I feel so horrible for him. I feel horrible that he has to sit with me and waste his time on me during my worst moments. Of course he doesn’t feel that way and he tells me he appreciates every moment of his time with me, but I cannot help but wonder how it would have been if it would have been someone other than me. He has been the rock and support in my life, but I wonder if I have ever been his. As someone who has anxiety and boderline depression, it hasn’t been easy on him. I cannot imagine how I would feel if our roles were reversed. I would be so lost and wouldn’t be able to do what he has done for me. So sometimes I wish I could stop being myself to save him from that pain, but I cannot since he’s my best friend and he suffers with me.

Of course this list is just for fun and it’s about how much VJ has been beside and never left my side. But like every married couples, we too have our bad moments. Like Katy Perry said, “You’re yes then you’re no, you’re in then you’re out, you’re up then you’re down, you’re wrong when it’s right, it’s black and it’s white. We fight, we break up. We kiss, we make up” and that is how it is between me and VJ and that is what life is.

Love to VJ
From your darling Po

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