VJ is quite a decent husband. He’s not the best like I’m not the best wife. We all have flaws and I accept VJ’s with his; but since Arlo came into our lives, I realized how many flaws we both have. For example, I’m a slob and a nagger. VJ, on the other hand, is a slacker. I have been desperate to change this in me. I want Arlo to be better than both of us. My parents were taught that boys aren’t supposed to help around the house. They are supposed to sit in front of the TV sipping tea while women were supposed to wait behind the curtain or stay in the kitchen. I never understood this, even now I don’t understand this. You teach your girl to fight, you teach your girl to stay strong, you teach your girl to be independent and you teach your girl to be better than a boy, but yet she’s not equal. You expect your son-in-law to help your daughter out with the chores but you don’t want your son to help your daughter-in-law? How is this fair? Change starts today. Change starts at home. Let’s start a gender-equal home from today.

 

TO ALL THE HUSBANDS IN THE WORLD

Do you remember the first time you met her?
The first time you laid your eyes on her?
She was someone’s daughter
She was someone’s sister
She was someone’s best friend
She was someone’s cousin.

And then she chose you
From all the guys who proposed to her
She rejected them all and chose you
You must not know the value of that decision
You do not know the extreme internal turmoil
You have no idea how difficult it was for those surrounding her.

And then, she left them all
She moved with you, wherever you wanted to
She left her job, her friends, her cousins
She left her aging parents so that she could be with you
She has already made the ultimate choice
She chose you over her entire life.

And then, she presented you with this wonderful gift
She personally made it
She ground her bones,
Made extra space
Added a lot of love
And out came your first child.

There were so many changes
Not just the physical ones that you can see
The emotional ones that she can’t share
The sadness that her life won’t be the same
The shame that she has to endure from others
And not to forget the no-help situation.

To all the husbands in the world,
Why did you pick her up from her comfortable life?
So that you can make her a servant in her own home?
So that she has to cry at her loneliness?
So that she has to break her back so that you can relax?
So that she can feel so broken?

To all the husbands in the world,
GET UP from those couches,
Push those devices aside,
Turn off the TV now,
Go look at your wife trying to make a meal,
Hug her, kiss her and tell her you love her.

To all the husbands in the world,
Bring home some flowers today,
Let her relax with a glass of something cool,
Give her a kiss and with a smile,
Do the dishes and the laundry,
Because it’s your job too.

To all the husbands in the world,
You are not losing your masculinity
You are not losing the Y chromosome
You are not giving up on your ‘me’ time
You are not giving up on your sanity
Because it’s your job too.

To all the husbands in the world,
Would you want your daughter to someday be like this?
Would you want your daughter breaking her back?
Would you want your daughter never to relax?
Would you want your daughter the life your wife has?
Would you want your daughter never to smile?

To all the husbands in the world,
This is the same woman who watched the game with you
And now she can’t
Because your life is still the same but her’s is not
She has a clingy baby who won’t let go
She can’t have a ‘me’ time because you can.

To all the husbands in the world,
Stop teasing the ones who help their wives,
Stop teasing the woman that they have help,
You should be proud that you have such friends
You should learn the good
You should teach your kids the same.

To all the husbands in the world,
You have an equal responsibility
Gone are the days when woman’s role was limited
She earns as much as you
She works harder than you
And she makes sure you are fed.

To all the husbands in the world,
This is your family too
You need to step up and be better than you are
So what if she’s a stay at home mom?
She cooks, cleans and manages your family’s schedule
She doesn’t earn because she chose the well being of you and your kids.

To all the husbands in the world,
Share the load
Share the love
Share the bond
Share the house
Because it’s your bloody job too!

 

Love,
All the wives in the world!

Po.