A Helpful Guideline To Women’s Periods

I’ve been thinking about what I want to write for a long time. Since I was a kid I was told that periods are something that I should be ashamed of. They are something that women shouldn’t talk about, something that makes them untouchable and something that makes them unworthy. Being born a girl is a curse in most of my family members because of the cost it would take to raise a girl. I felt like a burden for a long time, but I shouldn’t be. We have all been raised with such taboo, that when a girl says she has her PMS, men immediately get uncomfortable. It’s not to be talked about with men. Men cannot buy sanitary products. But this is frustrating. I had so many accidents so many times that I wished men knew about it too. They were educated so that I didn’t have to sit and cry in the washroom about a stain and not knowing what to do to cover it. I know we have both men and women readers, but it’s time for me to write about something I believe in.

I’ve given it a lot of thought. Because who wants to read about periods. I mean I don’t go poking about periods unless I missed one or have some weird symptom that I haven’t had. When I got married and started living with VJ, he had no idea how to deal with my PMS and I was so angry at him for that. I wish he had some manual to help him out with why my health is important. He knew my health was important but didn’t realize how much it was until it was too late. We both regretted ignoring my missed periods. It wasn’t just a sign of infertility, it was also a sign of something terrible that was going to happen to my body. My diabetes was just the starting. So I would like to help others on the importance of their periods for themselves and their family.

Missed Periods are Never Good
If you aren’t sexually active and have missed your period for more than a week, it’s time to go to the doctor. This is very important to remember. There could tens of many underlying causes as to why you missed your period. It is important to get the necessary tests done. After five months of a missed period I was in terrible pain and ended up in the ER. They discovered a cyst of 14cm in diameter in my 5cm ovary. And judging by the fluid in there I had another 12cm cyst. My PCOS was terrible and no one should experience it.

Listen to Your Doctor
Some Doctors aren’t worth listening to, like my first Gynecologist, who just tried to get me pregnant and prescribed me a bunch of hormonal pills. The pills made me put on weight and did nothing else. She never tried to see what the underlying cause was. I’m so glad I had a friend who guided me towards a better doctor, if it wasn’t for my present Gynecologist I would have never gotten better or had Arlo kicking me in my face in the middle of the night.

Get your Diagnosis before self-diagnosing on WebMD
I remember when I missed my period for 3 whole months, I just had to do the waiting game and couldn’t do anything else. I looked up every symptom on Google and before long I was sure I had cervical cancer (I didn’t). I had a fibroid and I decided that it was cancerous (it wasn’t). So stop yourself and stop torturing yourself.

Periods Aren’t Disgusting
Yeah, we are taught this right from the start and we treat it that way too. I don’t know why. Our children shouldn’t have to think this way. I still think periods are disgusting and actually, they aren’t. It’s a sign that everything in a woman’s body is behaving perfectly well. One missed period here and it is fine, but if it has been happening consistently then it’s time for the doctor.

Women Do Not Exaggerate Pain
I’ve heard this from many of my friends – that their husbands thought that they were exaggerating their pain. Thankfully VJ never game me that doubt. He just didn’t know what to do or how to help me. To those husbands and boyfriends and fiances – there’s no real way to take your love’s pain away, but there are definitely ways to help manage them. Ibuprofen, something chocolatey (usually chocolate or ice cream or cupcakes), hot water pack, a gentle massage (if she needs one) or even a warm bath. These little things go a long way and will make your wife appreciate you more (VJ take notes).

Men Cannot Comprehend Your Pain
This applies to me and many other women. Men do not bleed monthly and thus do not understand the pain, the irritation and the extreme discomfort that period presents with. In the exact words of a friend, ‘Men only know the theoretical stuff. We cannot quantify the pain nor understand PMS and how it would upset women or their responses.’ So we need to explain it to them. And every woman is different. I get this severe lower back pain one month with no bleeding and heavy bleeding with no pain the next. So if we cannot expect what’s going to come to us, then men definitely cannot.

Talking between partners make stuff easier – Talking is the key. A lot of women suffer from infertility and their partners cannot often understand their pain or their sufferings. We can make it easier for the species from Mars (I mean men) to understand us.

Love,
Po