Diary of an Accidental Extrovert

I am an introvert at heart, always have been. I know it’s not something that can be changed or a switch being flipped to turn yourself from one personality to another. I was very reserved as a child. People used to think that I am a proud person. Like most parents, mine pushed me to make new friends. I reached out to my peers trying to make new friends, but only clicked with a very few who I call friends now. As I grew up I came to know that I am an introvert, which I consider a good thing because I know I am not an oddity. Here are a few things I have observed, from my experience. I come across as an extroverted person though I am an introvert.

            I have observed that….

• People start to think you will be socializing every time you go out, which is true in some cases. I have my days on both sides of the spectrum.
  
  Which leads to our next point…

• There are few days when I don’t want to even talk to anyone, it’s not that I am not in a good mood or some days that’s just the way it is.
  
  And…

• All I want to do is stay inside my house, read a nice book or watch a nice movie.
  
  I even..

• Don’t like heavily crowded places because the more heavy the noise, the more it feels like a vortex which sucks out my energy.

          Which reminds me that…

• Though I enjoy talking to people, it’s just a matter of time before I am comfortable with you then you get to see me blabber and go on like a magpie.

           But…

• I will not open up to anyone regarding my deep thoughts. I am not the kind of person who rejoices in small talk, I feel very awkward about asking about the weather and would rather endure silence than face it.

           That doesn’t mean…

• Once you come to know me and if you are honest with me, you will find that there are so many surprises hiding beneath all this introvert-ism. But if we don’t get together that much, whatever I want to tell won’t leave my mouth and you will find me nodding my head a lot.

There is no absolute extrovert-ism or introvert-ism. Most people are somewhere in between and there are only few who belong to either end of the spectrum. I am yet to meet an absolute extrovert or an absolute introvert. True that there are few people who are very reserved, but they will talk only if they find you with the same mindset.  Then there are some who are “life of a party” kind. I am kind of jealous of them for their ability to blend into anything. But whatever is the case, no matter who you try to emulate, you can still be you. The core won’t change. 

Self-acceptance goes a long way. So, right now I am in a place where it’s who I am and I am ok with that. Hope you find the strength too, to accept yourself for who you are.