Mum’s The Word

Today I would like to share something that my mother shared with me.

It started a few days earlier when I was talking to my mother regarding how easy she made it look raising us, her daughters. I mean, it felt like she knew what she was doing, maybe not all time the time, but she had it under control 98% of the time.

I asked her how she did it since she must have had her share of struggles. I don’t know how the other mothers do it, but I still struggle. So, I asked her.

I guess I was waiting for a miracle. I was waiting for a single answer to the million questions running through my brain. What my mother told next was not exactly an answer, but a  form of reassurance. She told me, “I didn’t know. I struggled as much as you, probably even more”.

At first, I was laughed, assuming she was joking. Then I realized she was quite serious.

Every mother gets confused. There are so many people out there who try to “guide” you. There are a few you can trust who genuinely care for you and then, there are those few who are the judgmental types, the kind of people (mothers) who judge your every move.  These are the type of people you can spot anywhere and very easily. For example, when you go to a supermarket. with your kid. And then he throws a tantrum, embarrasses himself and embarrasses you. There will always be people who stand there and snigger when you are trying to pull yourself together and try to help your kid remain calm. He’s a kid; there are most adults who have tantrums at the store, so do not let these people judge you. Do not listen to them. Trust yourself.

Ever had a time, when you didn’t know what to do and end up feeling overwhelmed?  You start panicking. You get anxious and feel sad. Then you start questioning yourself and judge yourself very harshly, criticizing every move you make. Well, most of the women feel the same. As a child grows so does the mother. We all learn from our mistakes. We must allow ourselves the freedom to make those mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Motherhood is not about perfection, it is about being the best of yourself around your kid. We can be more than just the self-pitying, self-loathing kind of mothers. Everybody has doubts, instead of letting your doubts get the best of you, you should learn to trust yourself and have faith.

There will always be endless naysayers, so let them do their talking. You quietly conquer your fears and show your kids all your love. A caring mother is better than a perfect mother. Kids will love you for who you are, not for how perfect you are.

So yeah, here are my two cents, share yours too.

Love,
Pooh